


Dead Inside

by Milk_And_Cookies



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Dave being an awesome human being, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, John doesn't understand that even a friend-leader needs help, Multi, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 14:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milk_And_Cookies/pseuds/Milk_And_Cookies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John used to look forward to Summer meetups with his online friends. This year will be the fourth. This years it's different. This year, they're coming to him. And he's terrified they'll find out the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead Inside

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fragility](https://archiveofourown.org/works/357416) by [tempestSylph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tempestSylph/pseuds/tempestSylph). 



> This will be my first Homestuck fic. Hope I don't suck. Will start as a Short one or two-shot. If it takes off from there... Who knows?

  ---- turntechGodhead **[TG]** began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 8:03 ----

TG: hey egbert

TG: dude

TG: dont leave me hanging man you there

TG: no seriously

TG: john im about to burst into as many pieces as there are raindrops in an ocean here

TG: theres a fresh storm cloud about to rain from the heavens in pain over you not answering me here

TG: do you really want the next storm of the century on your shoulders it’s a pretty large weight to have on such tender shoulders as yours

EB: really dave? are the metaphors really needed? it’s been five minutes.

EB: i was getting dressed.

EB: you know our times are different.

TG: sorry man when i start it just doesnt stop

TG: all these emotions that overflow from this rocking body need to be expressed somehow

EB: whatever you say dave.

EB: is there a reason you’re trying to get me to answer so bad?

TG: just wanted to know if you were ready

EB: ready for what?

TG: for our annual group date this summer happens every year

TG: you me Harley and lalonde

TG: ring any bells

TG: Egbert

TG: you do remember right

EB: haha of course i remember! how could i forget something so important?

TG: whew thought i was gonna ave to find someone to help ring those memory bells for you

TG: like that Quasimasi guy from that disney movie with the gipsy and the goat

EB: did you just metaphor a Disney movie?

TG: hell yeah disneys awesome completely ironic to watch fucking disney and shit

EB: why did you ask if I remembered the meet up in july? we’re all meeting up at jade’s again

TG: no dude, its year four we’re hanging at your place

EB: wait. what?

TG: yeah fist year was harley’s then lalonde last year we were at mine now its your turn

TG: why don’t want us to see all the gay love you have for nic cage all over your walls

EB: i…

 ----  ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:08  ----

TG: sure ill just wait here for you pining away while you worship the cage gods on your bedroom walls

TG: ill just be here….. waiting

 ---- turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum! ----

===> John. Freak the fuck out. 

Oh, God, oh God, oh God. What were you going to? Things aren't like they were last year. Things changed when your feeling for Dave changed. That wasn't supposed to happen either. You and Dave were bros. The best of friends. You are not even a homosexual. You don't understand what changed during the two weeks you were at Daves last summer, but, all of a sudden, all you could seem to think about was how good Dave looked in those tight jeans he and is brother were always wearing. How soft his lips sooked, even when he was rapping because Rose and Jade weren't listening to him. How badly you wanted him to take off his shades and let you drown in his eyes.

You think it might have started when his shades were knocked off during a pillow fight. You don't know why the pillow was actually able to get the off, but whatever the reason for them falling off, you curse the world. That half second you saw the vibrant red of his irises was enough to take your breath away and not give it back for the following three days you were stuck there. Then when you got home, the dreams started. At first you didn't find anything wrong with them. Just hanging out with Dave, only without his shades on. You could understand because for the first time in over three years, you knew what they looked like. Then they got a little more detailed. A little more vivid. Then you started waking up with... a small problem in the morning. When you started to understand what was happening, you thought briefly about talking to your dad. That though was quickly put in garbage bag, stuffed into the trash can and tossed to the curb. 

You weren't even his biological son. You didn't want to take the chance and have him tell you how disappointed or disgusted he was. You did a pretty good job of hiding it from everyone. People you've been going to school with since you were adopted by your dad at seven couldn't tell anything was different. At first. But despite your attempts at acting like Dave was still only your best friend, every time he messaged you on Pesterchum, or texted you during school hours, your classmates started to become suspicious.

You started to become a running joke among them, calling Dave your boyfriend. You would just laugh with them, as though it was the funniest joke you had ever heard. When it became boring to just joke, they decided the confront you about it outright. You don't thing they had any right to that information, but you can't NOT answer when surrounded by twenty-plus students, more than half of them guys that were larger than you. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it was okay...
> 
> Next chapter will be the confrontation between John and his schoolmates.


End file.
